“Don’t worry,” says Donald Trump. “When I said we’d look into ways to ‘get rid of them,’ I didn’t mean Muslims! I just meant the hypothetical Muslim training camps believed in by the obvious racist whose insane opinions I treated as valid.”
Author Archives: Ben Tolkin
AFD Micron #32
Rick Santorum fully understands that ISIS is an apocalyptic death cult because he’s part of one.
AFD Micron #31
America in a single image: a stage with nothing but Christian candidates loudly explaining that they’re being silenced.
Pictured: Second 2016 (Varsity) Republican Debate.
(Credit: CNN – via YouTube user KARAOKE ONLINE)
AFD Micron #30
Challenge: come up with a slogan for a modern civil rights movement that is even less plausibly controversial than #BlackLivesMatter.
AFD Micron #29
First they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out, because I was not a Jew. But it was really convenient, because then when they came for me… sort of… I mean… they made my life slightly less convenient, I could say HEY, ISN’T THIS EXACTLY LIKE WHEN YOU CAME FOR THE JEWS
AFD Micron #28
The best way to define the Millennials is those born between 1986 and 1994- i.e., those who were ever the same age as Harry Potter, in books or movies.
AFD Micron #27
The stabbing attack at the University of Arkansas serves as a reminder of how insane the “if we outlaw guns, people will kill each other in other ways” argument is. If you don’t know what you’re doing, it’s really, really hard to kill someone without a weapon designed for that purpose: obviously, a machete attack is a horrible event, but it resulted in… three people injured, counting the perpetrator.
